Bees Won’t Sting YA

by Kirk Spencer

US-POLITICS-EASTER-OBAMAThis Easter morning, as was his custom, our president read Where the Wild Things Are. He reads this famous 60s picture book to a group of children on the White House lawn. Im not sure what Wild Things have to do with Easter, however, if we were there, we could hear him read[1] these words: And now let the wild rumpus start! Then our president led the wild things in a wild rumpus which was not very wild. And the children were not rumpusing. So they were called out for not rumpusing that hard. (I didnt see anyone rumpusing at all). It was all staged. The children just didnt feel like rumpusing or they were not sure what rumpusing meant. (Im not even sure what it is though I think it has to do with making a big show of doing whatever you want, not matter what anyone else thinks.)

It was at this point, that a suddenly, spontaneous, high pitched rumpusing began somewhere among the children. Here is a transcript of the dialog:

The President:

Oh no its a bee. Thats okay guys, bees are good. They wont land on ya.

Anonymous Child:

But they sting and theyre scary.

The President:

They wont sting you. Theyll be okay.

Wait Wait Wait Wait

Hold on. Hold on You guys are wild things. Youre not supposed to be scared of beeswhen youre a wild thing.


The child was right.

The president was wrong Bees will sting you and they will not be okay. Honeybees die after they sting.

Though the president was wrong about bees stinging, the spontaneity of the presidential response to such a Melittological terrorist attack may have shed some light on the mysterious Obama Doctrine. This may very well be the doctrine which informs our foreign policy: We are so big that other countries (such as Cuba and Iran) are like bees. We dont need to worry the risk is low. They wont sting because theyre so small and we are so big. And, even if they do sting us, were so big we will not die (unless we have an allergic reaction to nuclear bombs).

Bottom line trust the bees bees are good. They wont land on ya. They want sting you. Theyll be okay. It is foreign policy on the front lawn.

The buzz around these bees, may very well have illuminated the various ways we deal with scary things, from honeybees to rogue nations

We can:

  1. Stand still hope they wont bother us (Appeasement)
  2. Swat at them and hope it will scare them away (Saber Rattling)
  3. Scream a lot and run around in circles (Diplomacy)
  4. Run away and hope they dont follow (Nativist/Isolationist)
  5. Get a can of hornet spray (Arms Race)
  6. Open a big can of hornet spray (Nuclear War)

Or we could just deny that bees even sting.

Even if Where the Wild Things Are is not appropriate for Easter, it is appropriate for the times. The children that heard this book in its first printing are now ruling our countryrumpusing away from our parental God and His wishes to do whatever we want even if we dont really know what we want we want to rumpus. We want to worship our own whims[2]. We do not want to go to bed. We want to dance the primal dance around the night fires. We want to rumpus. It is a picture book of our current transformation.

After the bees terrorized the children and the presidential comforted them by denying that bees sting, and after he affirmed the fearlessness of wild things, after this, he sat back down and finished the story. How the wildest of the wild things, the king of the wild things, got tired of being wild because he was lonely and wanted to be where someone loved him best of all. So he gave up being king of the wild things (children) and decided to go home (to grow up into a responsible adult). He went back home to the one who loved him best of all and his supper was still hot. He wanted to be with someone big, someone who loved wild things even in their most wildest.

Maybe it is a good story for Easter morning. The resurrection of our Savior, on the first Easter morning, finishes the path back home to the One who loves us best of all, even in our wildness and rebellion. Terror and death will sting uslike beesunless the stinger is removed. Easter celebrates this fact: The empty tomb is proof that our Savior Jesus Christ has removed Deaths stinger.

Its a good policy: Stop being king, and take our nation of wild things back home to the One who loves us best of all.


[2] a sudden desire or change of mind, especially one that is unusual or unexplained. impulse, urge, notion, fancy, caprice, conceit, vagary, inclination

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